i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
