Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
