God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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