kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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