kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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