Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i believe in u and ur pee
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
