Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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