I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
