90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this will be a night to untag.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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