You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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