what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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