Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
