you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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