You're my little dorito
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
