JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
