I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
