So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
