haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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