she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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