Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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