Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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