Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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