My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
