thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
