i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I want a musical about memes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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