I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
