I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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