Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
