I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
