i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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