Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Randomize
