Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
