So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
