That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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