just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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