it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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