My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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