i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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