I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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