I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
