make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
