I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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