i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
