yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
