Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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