can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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