We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
