just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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