At least make sure they are 18
Why
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
