i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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