omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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