Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
