So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
