Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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