And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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