Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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