you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
