four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
